Still Not Over You by Rob Thomas/Gravity by Sara Bareilles

        I just hate it when you miss some one so much. What I miss about Superman was that undying attention and love he gave me. I was everything to him and I never felt like that with anyone else. It wasn’t about the sex or the romance it was that he actually took care of me like no other man not even my ex-husbands or baby daddies. He wouldn’t let me do anything, he would clean up and cook, when I didn’t feel like it (that was rare) and he would always walk with me even to the corner and back to make sure I was okay; like a bodyguard.

        No, it was a pull of gravity to each others personality and soul. I can calm his temper and he can make me see reason or let me vent and actually left me alone to sort out my feelings. He never hover or brood me down. He let me own my actions and never scold me like a child when I was wrong. He always asked me why I did what I did. I just explained and no matter what my answer was he would defend me even when I was wrong and Superman would do it with such conviction and would lay his life for me (I have only met two men in my entire life that was like this). He would never let anyone disrespect me or put a hand on me. I miss his laughter, the way we always took walks with the dogs and how we cooked dinner. The way he washed my hair and brushed. I was so cherished and felt secure with Superman.

        

No one can replace the way he put me on a petal stall and actually cared for me. He made me feel safe and loved, like a porcelain doll. I don’t care who will read this anymore I want my feelings to be known and you don’t need to understand them. I feel like guys only want to get laid and I am not ready or even down with that bullshit.       

I keep his letters by my bed along with his picture and I know he will come back home when he his done with his business. I been living like there is nothing to loose and I am not over him and I can’t find a replacement. I know no one can replace someone else but I will pull myself together and I will run to him no matter what and I will breathe him into me. I will love him and he will know it. I will tell him everyday in a letter, phone call or even by the way I will kiss him. He will know and I will never look back no matter what anyone says anymore. I know now that I will never find a love like that anymore. So I will wait for him because he will be back in nine months. I will be strong for both of us, the kids and the dogs.

P.S. I love you, Superman and no matter what people say about you; I know its out of jealousy that they talk and not out of love for me or you. Remember that I love you unconditional bad boy side and your geeky side. XOXOXOXOX! And don’t you forget it!!!

Is being crazy the new normal?

As everyone knows I am writing a book about the life of a sociopath. I have been reading about diagnosis and how they may be relevant to the background of a sociopath. I am not a doctor so this would be truly on my own research and belief. This book is a biography of a friend of mines. I am enjoying doing all the storytelling and investigating the possible mental illness that may associate with a  sociopath. I am going to interview a couple of doctors, psychiatrist and other specialists in this area of mental illness. I expect to get the pros and cons of what a sociopath could possible have and have not. I may even get to interview a real-life serial killer who was at first a sociopath and turned serial killer later. I will keep you posted on my finds but you have to buy the book when it comes out because I will be going into more details. I have so many questions and I hope to find all the answers too. Subjects like theses are all skepticism and difficult to understand because there is no cure for sociopaths, since I am researching maybe I can come up with an idea or two. I will keep you all posted.