The New Android Optimus S

Just testing this new application from my new phone. Kinda neat. I like the way it looks but I would change a few things on here.

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When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned….

I haven’t written well over a month now. I have been busy with moving, going to Puerto Rico and dealing with my sickness while pregnant. Shit, where do I start? Let see…

1. Well Phoenix decided that we needed a bigger place since Joshua was living with us at one point but my mom decided to come move in with us also. I still haven’t decided if that is a mistake or a good thing just quiet yet.

2. I went to Puerto Rico last week just to go get my mom and that was a total nightmare. Flying into PR was great and actually early but flying out was a whole different bullshit. First, we got to the airport way too early and than the flight was cancelled at the last minute and had to wait to fly out later that night. So we was stuck at the San Juan International all day. Then to get to Atlanta and be stuck there for 2 days. Minnesota decided to have an unexpected snowstorm on my behalf. I at least got to meet an interesting older guy who was a retired air-force military. Nice guy. My mom was a pain in the ass too so that didn’t help my trip neither.

3. Now for me being diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia is a pain in the ass too, while pregnant. I was at one point needing blood transfusion but I decided to go back to PR for two reasons a) Get my mom and b) get some R & R and get healthy too. That helped a lot as far as the nutrients I got from the food of my people and the fresh air from the mountains.

4. I have been thinking about Superman and not in a I want to be with him but a “Is he okay?” Believe it or not his more stronger than me, but I still worry a little. His been looking for me but I have been MIA for a few months now. Even my friends don’t know where I am. I like it that way. Sometimes, it gets lonely even if you have a family.

What A Crazy Weekend?

I know that when you are a teen you have so much energy and nothing to do. So here goes the story, my kids friend decided to go joyriding without a license and got pulled over for having only one headlight. Dumb! Dumb! So he ended up getting the truck towed and his mom missing work. Now if my kids did that I would punish them till they couldn’t take it anymore. That was a stupid, crazy and funny weekend!!

XO “Muah” XO

Changes and more changes….

I usually don’t run from changes because there is nowhere to hide, but I feel like a change is coming and I have no control at all. I am having a hard time adjusting to my new life like I said before. I may have to just release these feelings and ride the wave; with a baby coming, teens acting up (actually 1 only), moving in with the baby’s dad, finishing up school and looking for a much better job to help around here, I seem to be losing myself somehow. I am truly overwhelmed with emotions. Doctor says its normal to feel irritated and moody but I can’t help think I’m moving way too fast and can’t find the break. Need to shut my eyes because I will still feel dizzy from the movement. Naturally, I am worried if I do it alone but I know I am not one bit. I am struggling to share my fears and feelings with Phoenix that I am pushing him away for no reason of his own. His giving me space but I need his love and understanding with some support but I can’t even communicate that with him. I am strong on the surface but not all the way through I need him more than ever but I don’t want to tell him. He tries to communicate with me but I am holding back and don’t know why. Maybe I am scared of being hurt again or losing him. I am trying to forget all the hurt I am hiding too well but can’t seem to let go. What could I possibly be so scared of? I don’t know maybe its just me and my insecurities. I will update you more later. I have to head to bed. I’m too tired now with the baby growing. I am 5 weeks and I pray to God that I am able to carry full term.

Love and Marriage: 6 Qualities Your Future Husband MUST Have From Glamour Magazine

Written by Meredith Bodgas

No matter what your guy’s personality is, there are certain characteristics he has to have if you’re destined for love and marriage. Check this checklist before you head to the altar.

 

Hubby Quality: He’s Honest
Even if he’s a car salesman (aka professional liar) by day, he has to speak the truth (the whole truth and nothing but the truth) with you. Sure, there are certain occasions that warrant white lies, like if he’s trying to surprise you with an engagement ring or protect your feelings (“No, I didn’t notice that zit”). At all other times, though, he has to be straight with you--and not keep secrets from you.

Hubby Quality: He’s Got Your Back
My relationship may not have made it to a wedding day if Paul didn’t stand up for me when his family gave me a hard time during our engagement. Yes, Paul calls me out on it when he thinks I’m doing something wrong, but he always hears me out, supports my (carefully thought-out) decisions, and sides with me when sides have to be taken. It’s a good feeling--and a key ingredient to a successful marriage.

Hubby Quality: He’s Fun
Whether your idea of a good time is parking yourself on the couch to watch reality TV or parking the car by a cliff to bungee jump, your future husband’s gotta bring it. This is the man you’re spending the rest of your life with; if you don’t enjoy being with him now while you’re young, how high-quality will your quality time be thirty years from now? Not every second will be bliss, unfortunately, but most moments with your man should make you happy.

Hubby Quality: He’s Willing to Work
Maybe you want to be the breadwinner. As they said in the 90s, “You go girl!” But in unsteady economies (like, uh, this one), you both have to be up for earning. A lazy-bones for a hubby can mean bad things for your checking account and the children you may decide to have.

Hubby Quality: He Uses His Words
Some guys have an easier time sharing their feelings than others. Regardless of where your man falls on the expressive spectrum, he better speak his messages--and not hit, kick, or punch them. I know you know this already, but I’ll remind you anyway: Violence has no place in love and marriage.

Hubby Quality: He Loves You Unconditionally
It’s cool if your guy was initially attracted to your pretty face or beautiful bod. But he has to love much more than that if he’s the man you marry. Looks fade over time--or can change in an instant. A shallow guy doesn’t make much of a husband.

What other qualities do you think a husband must have in order for love and marriage to work? Could you live without any of the above? How many of these qualities does your guy have?

Unexpected Life and Relationship

I know that I said that I was going to stay away from guys but I walked smack right into Phoenix again. We moved in together and planning on starting a family and everything, too. My kids like him and even Cairo loves him too. My dog is protective of me but he lets him near me. Funny, I think.

I had to change a lot of things like my lifestyle and friends but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss them or will completely stop talking to them. I am trying to get use to this new life which is so much better than before or Superman can ever give me and the kids.  It may be mean to say that because he tattooed my name on his arm really big. I do feel bad about that but I can’t really do nothing about that at all. It may be that this commitment came out of nowhere again. I just need to find the way I feel to keep me satisfy. There’s no complication, there’s no explanations, it’s just a groove in me. I just have to get use to this lifestyle all over again. Living with a guy is very different but I need to adjust to him and kind of miss my freedom a little. Will see how things go. Phoenix and I have been dating for over 5 months now. Part of that wasn’t even exclusive huh? Weird! More to come…

The Purest Love

Sometimes, I wonder if you can find the purest love. What is actually pure love? “Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.” Some people mistake this for unconditional love. Both are very differently. Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of the loved one's qualities or actions. I have experience unconditional love but just recently felt pure love. It has me really confused and giddy. I want to drown in his love and can’t think of anyone but him now. I am so scared to lose it or never get to feel it again.

How can I just make him see ME?

 

Fade Into You or Something Like You…

Lately, it has been too much changes, too much of my freedom being taken slowly but surely. Don’t get me wrong I love being in a relationship but I don’t want it to be rushing too fast. I am not in any sense want to be with Superman or anyone else for that matter. Phoenix is cool and great but I think at first he was not trying  to attach himself to me but now things have changed and I don’t like it. By changes I mean call me more often, actually coming around more too, and making future plans with me. I like it in some way but at the same time it makes me run and hide.  I am not sure what brought this all on. I usually feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I am around him for some reason. I feel like it shouldn’t even be like that with anyone. I need some space from the world and my decisions.