When Is It Ever Enough???

I know that I am feeling stuck right now in my life and can’t decide what I really want. That is very unbelievable to me because usually I know right away what I want. This isn’t normal for me to be so frustrated and stuck and you can believe me when I say its not about the sex….

I know I fucked up somewhere and I seem to be climbing my way out of this hole. Seriously can it get any bigger, too. I have been stuck in a nightmare that plays over and over again. I just for once want to jump over the fence and feel the sun all over my skin again. I miss those happy days with my kids, my dog; Cairo and my man Superman. Yes, him! He has always brought a smile to my face even when we were arguing because we need to laugh on how stupid we were arguing.

Besides that; losing your belongings and home can be a real drag. I have decided to start all over in my life and people can’t see why. I am a strong believer of what doesn’t work the first time, move on and find your place in life especially now that my kids are getting older. I have so much things to think about before they all leave to college or with there own family one day. I do sit and wonder how its going to be. I have dreaded this day when they will all be gone and me, left alone once again. It’s funny because I haven’t been alone since I was 13 years old. That isn’t very long in ones life that you think about your days of being alone. If I think about it; my conclusion is that we grew up together, the children and I. I am really happy that they will be doing there own things but I have Cairo and just maybe Superman around or at this point Phoenix. His been talking to me more and coming around here. I am moving again to a much bigger place than where I am currently living at now.

I am heading to Puerto Rico and New Jersey in October 2010. I am so excited to see Black and my family plus visiting King in Virginia this Spring of 2011. We are going to look for the filming location of Vampire Diaries and True Blood. Yeah!!! I am so excited to hangout with King. I have a full year ahead of me and the kids. Can’t wait at all….