Could my life get any complicated than this????

Tonight or should I say very early in the morning I got a call, like at 1 am from Lex Luther (Mr. Right with all the money).  His is tall and very sexy, bald and muscles everywhere but (Wait) before I get distracted I will tell you what’s going on.

This is kind of messed up a little but I see a lot more clearly. They are actually a few dudes that I actually love (like a handful to be exact). He of course is one of them. Lex Luther and I use to go out for a few months before I met Superman. Everything was great and I was having fun with him but something again was missing from that relationship. I was still going out with Lex Luther, when I met Superman. I remember the big fight I was having with Lex that day. I had to make a decision on who I wanted to be with. So, I choose to be with Superman of course. The only one thing is that Superman didn’t know anything about Lex and my relationship with him but Lex knew about Superman. Now, I don’t regret anything about that situation because things happen for a reason. So apparently, Lex left to Kentucky for a bit and I stood with Superman for 4 months before he left. So I had time to go over all my relationship with both of them for the 1 year and half that they both are gone. I kept in contact with them and we discussed a lot about what we wanted but I think my heart belongs to Lex more than Superman. It has nothing to do with the money or anything like that.     

They are both different and I think Lex will make me more happier at the end than Superman. Point blank. No matter how you try to compare and make things rationale that at the end Lex wins out.

Weddings & Things

“Who says you have to be a virgin to where a white wedding dress? Or that you have to be a prince to marry the princess? Or that the fairy godmother has to carry a wand?”

That just seem like politics to me.

As I sit and watch my friends get married it all seems like a dream to me because I have been married 3 times, that’s right 3 times.

The first with Tony was wonderful, no matter the reasons why we married; I called him back in 2007 and he was happy to hear from me and he told me he still loved me no matter what. I was only 19 (he was 24) and I think I was not too ready to settle down or just wanted him because I could. That’s a pride thing… You wouldn’t understand it.

Now, my second marriage lasted a little longer as for 2 years and Henry was okay but he was younger than me; he was 19 and I was 26, when we got married. Now you see the pattern going on here, I do very clearly. We don’t speak at all and I saw him a few years back walking into a pawn shop but never spoke to him.  Besides, he slept with my close friend at  the time on my birthday. If that wasn’t a deal breaker than what is? That was a terrible divorce but a grand learning experience.

Than there was the third one, Julian. The rebound marriage. If that is even possible. I was talking to him while I was divorcing Henry. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I married him. I didn’t let myself get over the breakup/divorce. I just basically jumped into another marriage without the thinking how it will hurt me in the long run. This time it only lasted 1 year of marriage but was together 1 year before.

Going through all of this when I finally met Tone, I was going through the same cycle that he broke up with me and I was on overload of emotions that I got really depressed and sick for months and months  from jumping through relationships. These are not even including my kids father. So, you can imagine bouncing back from those situations that by my choice I stay single to get to know me. Yes, I will date but I am not in a serious relationship and I definitely don’t take guys serious anymore. I have learned new and still apply the old rules of dating and relationship rules.

The main advice from all of this is: “Take your time, there is no rush to be in a relationship that will go nowhere. You must love yourself before loving the next person. It’s okay to be single and don’t let your family or friends rush you neither. You will find a way to get out of the rut sooner or later.” –Sex Kitten 

My Thoughts On You!

I am pretty open to new things and crazy ideas but when you think you can pull a fast one on me, I don’t think you give me much credit. Just because I don’t flaunt my money or have a Big BMW parked in my drive doesn’t mean I am poor or anything else. I save money and I do my best to live in my own means not yours. I am not a flashy person. I like materialistic things as much as the next guy but I am not a show-off. I am disappointed in Phoenix and totally pissed off at Needy Loser.

Well, the week in my life as I put it, is this. Last week, Phoenix and I talked about some things that I thought to me was too fishy. He ask  me that we should wait a month for him to decided whether we should continue a relationship or if his going back to home. I for one think his pulling my leg. He either has a girlfriend or girlfriends, and his trying to be a player. You can not expect me too believe this bullshit, right? Whatever? No matter how much you work, you wouldn’t be MIA and I am on you. So, this is what I have to say “Moving the fuck around!” I will not wait around for you to decide who you want to fuck and be with!

NEXT!!!

Needy Loser called me like at 8 am this morning on a Saturday. I like to sleep in on the weekends. He called me demanding that I be his girlfriend. Wait! WTF??? I just snapped out of him and he wanted me to choose between him and my kids. Guess what??? My kids come first no matter if they are teens or old as hell. So, I told him to lose my number totally.

I want the whole package and won’t settle for less. Would you?

Don't Treat Me Like A Child!!!

It's funny how guys think they have you figured out when they are so far from it. You have to remember that I have nine brothers and tons of male cousins to go araound. If I act indifferent or distant because I am not that girl who acts needy or need attention all the time but it would be nice that you don't treat me like a toy because I will try you like shit in return. Maybe it's the way that my independence scares you and you can't handle someone like me, huh???

You know who you are!!!!

What I Am! Yours or Not!

I am sitting here thinking about a conversation I had with Phoenix yesterday. I feel like I have to always clarify what I do in life with him. Well, technically it's none of his or your business.

Since you are so interested here it is.

I am a music producer, writer (everything from a novel to a short story to screen scripts) and film indy movies under another name with my crew. I care very much about my privacy.

I am a mother and daughter!

I believe in justice, and fighting for the rights of people,therefore I am studying to be a lawyer. I am a visionary. I believe in my own beliefs and I research about everything from life to religions.

But most of all I am ME!

You either love me unconditionally with all the hair brain ideas and put up with me and love my children or don't even bother being with me. I am what I am!!!!

Clarify My Scandalous Tells

Since I have posted on my blog, I have had about twenty million emails and text messages plus a few nasty voice mails, but I could careless.

 I do want to clarify something right now.

I have never slept with all these guys just three; I have mentioned.

Superman, of course he was my boyfriend,

Boy Toy a very long time ago (maybe about 1 year ago or 2)

and the new guy Phoenix.

So you can think what you want, too!

My Many Escapades

***NOTE***I know that everyone be tripping about my blog. I do my best to not mention names or give anything else out to who there identity is but if you feel like I am talking about you than maybe I am or someone like you. I will not sugar coat for you or anyone else.

On a better note, I am looking for new ideas for my apartment and I would like to know how to go about finding my personality type for it and things like that. I am very open to new possibilities. So what I am going to do is a contest so stay tune for the rules and updates.

Here are some ideas below, I wish my apartment looked like this but this isn’t.

Kiss and Tell????

Now a days, guys seem to lack so much in the creativity department. They have no passion or romance. Guys are just too boring and unamusing, for a lack of better words. This July 4th weekend was a complete bust. From the family doing there own thing to the men that called like crazy. I am not too picky on the company I keep but it made me think that maybe I should start to be really picky from now on. As all you know my five day weekend started on Thursday. I was with Phoenix a day or so before this weekend started. I enjoyed the time with him a little but I get this gut feeling that we are not okay. We went to a place to be alone but it seemed to really pull us apart instead of making us closer. Wisconsin was beautiful that day, too. Everything was perfect until we got to the secret hideout for us both. The conversation was good but I felt really distant from him and I still don’t understand why. So, I just pulled away quietly from him and let him have some space.

As the weekend was approaching, I was getting calls from guys like crazy. Well, EDP (Extra Desperate Poser) was texting like crazy to everyone about his little trip to Chicago, with his hotel number on it. Wow! I believe you use Twitter for the mayor details not text messaging. Anyway, like I actually care. Superman was calling me like crazy as usual and that was okay with me until we started arguing about something I can’t remember, it might of been his jealousy again. I truly hate jealous guys. They just annoy me. You have not met my favorite guy, his name is Sex Crazed Freak. SCF was texting me like crazy about all the things he wanted to do to me, which it made me hot in a really weird way. SCF is always a gentlemen to me. I love the conversations we have whether they are about sex or everyday life. Now, one thing about him is that his married. For some reason, married men know how to be discreet and gentlemen. You probably thinking that this girl must be a call girl or a slut. I am neither! I will tell you exactly what I am, a Badass Player. My fans would say differently and call me a realist of relationships. I am like you in a sense that I am trying to figure out what goes into a relationship and try to correct my mistakes with the help of others. So, let me get back.

The calls were pouring in on Thursday and Friday. I couldn’t even decided who I wanted to spend the weekend with. I had this guy I met come over to talk but I felt uncomfortable off the bat. Like if I missed something the first time I met him. Well, he turned out to be an almost rapist. He wanted to have sex like right when he got to my place. I love sex but that was a bit too much and Rapist didn’t understand the word NO! I was so upset that I kicked him out of my place. Luckily, I live in an apartment building with much security. He totally just ticked me off, then there’s Mama Boy, who just keeps bugging me to come over my house. Dude still lives with his mom, has no job and no car. So, I just left him hanging. If you are 30 something years old and still lives with your parents please move on. Oh, wait! This guy you have to meet. His name is Total Loser, you know the kind that say I love you or texts you “Do you miss me?” I barely know you to feel either. I don’t believe that you can meet someone at love at first sight or be in love within a week of knowing someone. I am a skeptic totally when it comes to love and relationships. TL has been totally begging me to hangout or meet as he refers to things. He complains all the time about being lonely or that he should be dead because I won’t text or call back. Now weirdo! God, I would be totally scared to do anything with this type of guy because he can become a potential stalker type. Scary! I wonder if his the type of guy who likes abuse. Huh? Anyway, than there is Needy Loser. You know the one who wants to be in a serious relationship but for personal gain type. He actually got the nerve to ask me to put him on my cell phone plan. Not! Do you think I am that stupid? He wants to have a baby with me. Hello! I have 4 already don’t need anymore munchkins running around especially when mines are almost over 18 years old. I love kids but I am not a baby machine. Than his also with that damn I love you speech bullshit. He calls like clock work and won’t stop calling. As of this blog, he has left 10 messages, which I will just totally delete. There is more but I will leave you with two more types of guys. This are on my favorite list for now until they do something really stupid, which they haven’t so far. Cool Cat and Boy Toy. Now Cool Cat is planning on coming to see me today and Boy Toy is always a blast when it comes to partying. Boy Toy and I have been BFF since like forever. His totally younger than me but his mature for a guy his age. He knows how to party and not bring romantic hassles at the parties. I mean his romantic with me in private but when we in public there is no romantic hassles. He knows where he stands with me. I schooled him really good. What’s funny is how we met! I was with Jade at a nightclub in Shakopee, MN when I ran into him. He just turned 21 and was so wasted that his friends and us where walking out the same time and these other guys where trying to pick us up but his guy friends new that we didn’t want to talk to them that they helped us. So Boy Toy was tripping over his feet and so when he saw me he jumped over the car slid right into the snow bank and got up to kiss me. Multiple of times. I was hooked on his craziness. So we been BFF ever since. Cool Cat is one of those guys where you can hangout and a new adventure just pops out. We always have a blast together but we never got to crossover to anything from it and I think its because he doesn’t want to fuck things up which I totally understand but I think he will be so good in bed that it makes my mouth watery.

Will see how things go????