If that’s even possible…I know I am not dead or else I wouldn’t be writing this right now but I could be. Life again has taken an unexpected turn in my future. When things don’t go right I get stressed out and some would say stop worrying it will work out some how. Well, that’s not a good enough answer to me. No matter how many tears you shred you can’t possible know how I feel about everything that is going on in my life. I am so frustrated and pissed off. I don’t know if things will ever get better. Sometimes I never believe it will ever get better or near good. My relationships are deterring away slowly but surely. My best friend don’t talk to me anymore because of Superman. I sometimes don’t want anything with him or any other guy for that matter. You never get another chance so I don’t bother to ask for another. I lost interest in Phoenix so I won’t even want to talk to him anymore. I feel like I am totally secluding myself now from everyone and everything I even like. I miss my father and my brother Dondi. I want to go back home to New Jersey but struck here in Minnesota and this hell hole is killing me so slowly. Everyone is too busy in there own to even notice the pain I am caring with me everyday. That’s all right I like the way it hurts and I am use to it now.
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