I got a horrifying call today from Phoenix, after weeks of talking myself out of ever seeing him again I fell back into his trap of illusions. I know much better than believe a guy and his lies. He asked me a multiple times if I was pregnant. Makes me think that the condom broke off or something. I am truly freaking out here. Ok, I am just driving myself crazy, I think. I better get check totally. It’s way too late for Plan B or anything else plus I don’t do abortions I don’t believe in them entirely only under dire situations.
Can you believe he actually wanted to get married and stay with me and then all of a sudden he called and said he has to leave to go back to his country. Wow! I am actually in shock but not mad, maybe hurt a little. I have too many mix emotions running wild within me. Now, I have to put my life on hold to see if I am pregnant before carrying on with my life without the daddy again.
I sometimes wonder how I get myself into all this mess. I will carry on and go forward into the future as I have always done alone. I have no girlfriends around to help pick up the pieces or get me a tub of ice cream or let me cry. Just Cairo and me! I guess writing on my blog and a song soon will get me back on track soon enough.
It’s kind of funny that I haven’t shed one tear yet. Huh?
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